There is a day he purposely guided me to a place where there will be no one to rescue me. I have to stand up for myself and fought back. I was shocked when I messed him up. I came out victorious and alive. That was the last time I was bullied in my life by anyone. Some years later, I was driving and dodged an accident. In a flash, I sensed I could have died and had that exact kind of pain I felt while bullied. The dreadful pain reminded me of what fear can do to my health and body. I know the power fear can have over you if you allow the fear to take control.

You have the right to be afraid. It is not wrong to be frightened. What you should not permit is to be the subject of fear. No matter what, you shouldn’t allow your worries to lord over your life. You don’t want to be a slave to fear. For a while, I let fear to control me. The bully treated me like garbage. I was shit because I allowed him to piss all over me. I too weak to stand up for myself. I was also powerless and ashamed to report to my teachers and parents. I lost my voice and brains. It was under the spell of some juju. I could not think. I lost my vision and senses. I lost control. My emotions were in charge. I was messed up. The day I decided to control my fear, I took over the situation and fought my way out of oppression and intimidation. I was able to breath fresh air after a long time. I felt alive. I was reborn.

You might have a fear that is restricting you from living the life you desire for yourself. Fear comes in all shapes and sizes. The source of your fear does not matter, the pain, the panic that it brings that mute you for life if you refuse to take control of it. Phobia will make you have an overwhelming need to avoid any contact with the specific cause of anxiety or fear. Any time you think of coming into contact with the cause of the phobia makes you anxious or panicky. I was scared of coming in touch with my bully. So he did me well the day he cornered me in a spot where there was no one to rescue me. I had the overwhelming feeling that I was going to die, and the only way to come back to life and survive was to fight my way out. I gave it my very best shot. Because I created a pattern of shyness, timidity, fear, and panic, he least expected me to fight back. That was the moment I defeated him. I scratched his face, bite his neck. I used every weapon within my arsenal to attack. I was shocked when he started crying and begging for his life. I was surprised. I couldn’t believe I defeated my bully.

Fear is very uncomfortable. It is a terrible feeling. The feeling of fear is poisonous, so I cannot imagine why you allow your fears to boss over your life. You need fear to survive, so I am not saying you shouldn’t get rid of your fears. You take control of your fears and make your fear work for you instead of against you. It is not abnormal or a sign of weakness when you feel fear. The capacity to be afraid is part of normal brain function. The lack of fear may be a sign of severe brain damage. The fear of failing an interview made me study more so I can eradicate the anxiety. The fact I was afraid is a sign I of my unpreparedness. I decided not to take anything for granted. Fear is part of instinct, partly learned, partly taught. Some fears are instinctive.

Fear is also partly imagined, and so it can arise in the absence of something scary. Because our brain is efficient, you begin to fear a range of stimuli that are not scary or not even present. You get scared because of what you imagine could happen. Like when I avoided the deadly accident. I felt that rush in my blood and the pain in my stomach as I just realised I just avoided being killed. Fear detects the action you take. The actions you choose can also be as a result of how you interpret your fear. I was afraid of a bully; I died even before he does anything to me. I was scared of failing an interview, so I studied hard and made the most of it. Both my negativity as per the bully and my positivity as per the interview were both fueled by fear.

I had to learn how to master my fears, be the lord over my fears, and make my fears to serve me. Until I lived above my fears, I have always been a slave to fear. When I am afraid, I take time out to clear my head. I make it a lifestyle to jog every morning around 4:30 am for at least 50 minutes. The fresh air gives me some new perspectives. It opens me to see things from different angles. It delivers solutions to me in more than one dimension.

You must learn to embrace your fear. Don’t be afraid of your concern. Find out and learn more about your fears and learn its secrets. You become a master when you know the weakness of your subjects. Your fear is your subject. Master over it and make it work for you.

I have spent time with fear so much that I now focus on the positives of the things I am afraid. Instead of concentrating on the negative, I search for the positive. I have learnt how to make the best of my fears. I am ready to take risks. I am not afraid to fail because I know failure is feedback. I refused to give unnecessary time and attention to fear.

You must become calm with your fears, embrace your fears and start learning how to be a master at managing them. Once you can manage your fears; you will accomplish feats in your life that you would have thought impossible. You will find that you will be living your greatest and happiest moments when you push through the barriers of fear.