The art of pleasing is the art of deceiving. If you are a people pleaser you are not real to yourself. A people pleaser is so nice and most helpful to people. They never say “no.” You can always count on them for a favour. They spend a great deal of time doing things for other people. They get their work done, help others with their work, make all the plans, and are always there for family members and friends. This can be an extremely unhealthy pattern of behaviour.
Do you allow other people to influence the quality of your life? Are you concerned about what other people think of you? Do you often make decisions based on what you think will please others? Does your sense of self-worth come from the approval of others? Do you often withhold from sharing what you truly want, think, or feel because of fear it may upset someone? Are you often last on your list of priorities? Our egos love to be liked, approved and confirmed. It is natural to want to fit in and not “upset others” because it feels safer. We like to play safe and in playing safe, we end up in situations we are not comfortable, but we accept these harsh conditions because we want to feel accepted.
People pleasing needs too much negative energy and this energy will deplete your most valuable resources, your time and positive energy. Being a people pleaser does not make you a good person. It makes you weak and selfish. You want their approval that you are good, but this is not the case. You are weak and selfish. You are selfish because pleasing people is all about your wants. You want to be liked by the people you please, therefore, you please them. You do not want to upset them. You want to look good for them. You are OK if they treat you with disrespect because you seek their approval. You are protecting yourself from confrontation. You are refusing to express the real you. Obsessing about how to please others or be liked is a misuse of your energy.
You are very important. Your views and opinion matters. Stop distorting yourself to be what you think others want or expect. See yourself now reclaiming all that time and energy you disburse on being over-responsible for others or working to impress others and refocus it on being of service without attachment, sharing your gifts, taking care of you, and expressing your true Self. When doing that you will have an overflow from which to give from and you will be able to give without attachment or expectation.
Remember this, no one has the mandate to decide your worth. No one can dictate what you deserve. Other people’s reactions, responses and feelings are not your responsibility. Someone else’s opinion of you is not the truth. Your value does not come from how others perceive you. What other people think of you is none of your business. You are not created to please others. You must learn to live life to the fullest and fulfil your purpose. It takes courage to stop being afraid of what other people think about you, about your choices. It takes courage not to allow how they react towards your decisions and opinions manipulate you into doing what they want. The more you please yourself, the more pleasing you will be to other people.
The fear of rejection and failure is a basic root cause of people pleasing. Fear of Rejection can come from early relationships in which love was conditional or in which the people pleaser was rejected or abandoned by an important person in their life. Fear of failure can arise from early experiences with severe punishment for even small mistakes. People who had highly critical parents may develop a people-pleasing pattern. Early experiences with harsh criticism or punishment can lead to significant anxiety upon trying a task. You do not have to be a victim forever. You are not a doormat or a punching bag for others. If you cannot let go of your victimisation, you will not be able to understand this concept that pleasing people make you selfish. You must do the inner work to honour yourself despite all you have been through.
People that are nice are people pleasing. Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. It is more profitable to be kind than to be nice. Nice may look appealing, but it is nasty. Nice is not kind. Nice is pleasing and agreeable in nature; showing courtesy and politeness; of good character and reputation; respectable; socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous. Kind is having or showing a tender, considerate, and helping nature. Friendly, generous, sympathetic, and warm-hearted in nature. Characterised by mercy and compassion.
Kindness is rooted in the abundance of love. It comes from the compassionate essence of who we are. Niceness is rooted in lack and fear. It projects itself through the lingering pain of our unhealed wounds and going with a low sense of self-worth. In being nice you conform to perceived societal expectations not to stir up trouble. A nice person lacks self-worth and therefore does not express authenticity. The people pleasing tendencies of “nice” are rooted in selfishness—acting inauthentically for personal gain through approval and recognition. Kindness does not care what society thinks. A kind person believes in their soul and expresses authenticity. The honest, loving nature of kindness is rooted in selflessness—no approval or recognition needed. Kindness expands consciousness. When we are kind, we feel safe within ourselves.
Nice is externally motivated (fear of judgment). Kind is internally motivated (love for others). Nice tells you what it thinks you want to hear. Kind tells you what you need to hear. Nice is tense. Kind is relaxed. Nice is self-conscious. Kind is other-conscious. Nice talks. Kind acts. Nice is faux. Kind is real. Nice pacifies. Kind is present. Nice is shallow. Kind is deep. Nice is awkward. Kind is graceful. Nice lacks boundaries; it fears the word, “no.” Kind has solid boundaries; there is no fear of “no.”
Nice is weak. Kind is strong. Nice takes. Kind gives. Nice is needy. Kind is self-reliant. Nice is empty. Kind is full. Nice constricts. Kind expands. Nice is submissive. Kind is assertive. Nice is narcissistic. Kind is empathic. Nice suppresses feelings. Kind feels it all. Nice is uncertain. Kind is certain. Nice judges. Kind accepts. Nice rejects self-care. Kind embraces self-care. Nice avoids confrontation and retreats into silence. Kind confronts and protects the innocent. Nice expect recognition or reward. Kind expects nothing.
Kindness is rooted in compassion. Stop pleasing people and be authentic to yourself. Authenticity is the key to becoming your best self. People pleasing can become a habit that causes you to lose sight of your values. Learning to tolerate people being upset with you can be hard, but it is essential to reaching your goals. Your words and your behaviour must be in line with your beliefs before you can be truly authentic. Stop wasting your life pleasing others.
83838 comments
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 14:12
posted by Sueslems
ampicillin brand name
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 13:23
posted by fletsaccess
jordan 5 nero supreme low profile cincinnati reds hat kit nike mercurial vapor xi fg red white man city jersey black lions rugby shirts salefalcons columbia shirtnike city edition jerseyarsenal adidas tracksuit top warriors shirt 2020
fletsaccess http://www.fletsaccess.com/ -
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 11:59
posted by off white jordan
I as well as my buddies appeared to be checking out the good key points from your web blog then all of the sudden I had a terrible suspicion I had not thanked the website owner for those strategies. My women are actually so happy to see them and now have quite simply been enjoying them. We appreciate you simply being well thoughtful as well as for making a choice on some great areas most people are really needing to be informed on. Our own honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to earlier.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 11:03
posted by palm angels clothing
I actually wanted to send a word so as to appreciate you for these great guides you are writing on this website. My rather long internet research has at the end been compensated with pleasant ideas to go over with my best friends. I would say that many of us readers actually are unequivocally endowed to dwell in a fabulous site with very many perfect individuals with beneficial techniques. I feel very happy to have encountered the weblog and look forward to some more pleasurable moments reading here. Thanks a lot once again for all the details.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 10:42
posted by supreme clothing
I want to show my appreciation to the writer for rescuing me from such a incident. Right after scouting through the world-wide-web and getting techniques that were not helpful, I believed my life was done. Being alive without the strategies to the difficulties you've solved as a result of your entire website is a serious case, as well as ones that would have in a negative way affected my entire career if I had not encountered your website. The training and kindness in taking care of the whole lot was priceless. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had not discovered such a stuff like this. I am able to at this time look ahead to my future. Thank you very much for your skilled and amazing help. I will not be reluctant to endorse your web blog to any person who wants and needs support on this situation.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 10:42
posted by golden goose kids
I not to mention my guys ended up looking at the best secrets and techniques on your web blog and then unexpectedly came up with an awful suspicion I had not thanked the website owner for them. Most of the women were definitely so passionate to read through all of them and have in reality been using these things. Thanks for truly being simply kind as well as for going for these kinds of important themes most people are really eager to understand about. My very own honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to earlier.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 10:26
posted by Rogerduece
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 09:19
posted by kyrie shoes
Thank you a lot for providing individuals with such a spectacular opportunity to read critical reviews from this web site. It really is so kind and stuffed with a lot of fun for me and my office friends to visit your site really 3 times in a week to read through the new guides you will have. And lastly, I am usually fulfilled with the fantastic guidelines you serve. Selected 4 ideas in this article are easily the most effective we've had.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 08:32
posted by golden goose sliders
I have to express thanks to this writer for bailing me out of this type of issue. Because of checking through the internet and finding methods which were not beneficial, I believed my life was gone. Existing without the presence of strategies to the difficulties you have solved through your main blog post is a serious case, as well as ones which could have negatively damaged my entire career if I hadn't noticed your web page. Your primary natural talent and kindness in taking care of all areas was valuable. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had not encountered such a point like this. I can now look forward to my future. Thank you very much for the skilled and sensible help. I will not hesitate to suggest your blog post to anyone who wants and needs guidelines on this subject.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 15 May 2023 08:07
posted by Imithente Upoison Mp3 Download
This is a topic that is close to my heart... Many thanks! Exactly where can I find the contact details for questions?
Leave a comment
Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.