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Handling Failure. Featured

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Handling Failure.

Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.

I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.

Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.

To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.

When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.

In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.

The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.

Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success.  It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.

There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.

Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.

When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure.  Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this?  Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.

Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.

Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.

Jefferson O Imgbi

34557 comments

  • Comment Link ScottRus Monday, 10 June 2024 13:09 posted by ScottRus

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    Flirt.com is feature rich, offering email, message boards, chat rooms, member diaries, videos as well as basic flirts and emails. Flirt has a dedicated mobile site for those wanting access their matches on the go. They also sponsor speed dating and other live events for those who want to meet someone in person.
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    Women have access to all features of for free. Men can join for free, but will need a paid membership in order to use some features of the site. Despite being free for women there is still a very high proportion of male users.
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    https://www.datingwise.com/review/flirt.com/

    Flirt.com is for adults looking for fun, flirty encounters rather than serious dating. The site is aimed at the younger crowd, though there are older members there and some seeking longer term relationships. It offers free membership for women, while men can join for free but must pay for additional services such as email.
    Flirt has been recently revamped and is designed for people looking for casual dating. Most people there are in their twenties and early thirties, though there is no upper age limit. It's owned by the Cupid Dating network and caters mostly to members in the UK, the U.S. and Australia, though membership is open to anyone.
    Flirt is "spicier" than your regular dating site - don't expect to find your next significant other there.
    Naughty mode
    This site is designed to have a light, fun feel to it. It is not intended to be an "adult" site, though there is some mature content. Most adult content can be blocked by switching-off "naughty mode" (the initial setting).
    This will hide any images that are explicit. Flirt is a worth a look if you are single and looking to meet new people and have a little fun. Those looking for more serious relationships would probably be better off looking elsewhere.
    Features
    Flirt.com is feature rich, offering email, message boards, chat rooms, member diaries, videos as well as basic flirts and emails. Flirt has a dedicated mobile site for those wanting access their matches on the go. They also sponsor speed dating and other live events for those who want to meet someone in person.
    Membership
    Women have access to all features of for free. Men can join for free, but will need a paid membership in order to use some features of the site. Despite being free for women there is still a very high proportion of male users.
    Flirt ist ok. A few fake profiles (like everywhere), a few cam girls (like everywhere) and a few scammers (like everywhere) but generally the site seems to be real. Personally prefer because i've actually hooked up twice using it, but just wanted to try somethin' new so decided to give Flirt a chance.
    Avatar
    topiJuly 11th, 2017
    Useless
    Not worth it. I had no luck on this site after six months.
    Avatar
    freedFebruary 8th, 2017
    Just average
    how do i join?
    Avatar
    ChrisOilSeptember 12th, 2016
    Recommended
    Though it's a casual site, I met my love here. So everything's in your hands. Try, you won't lose anything.
    Avatar
    Paul87July 18th, 2016
    Above average
    Good site for flirting and one night stands! Unfortunately one day this won't be enough for you and flirt cannot offer you something serious.
    Avatar
    Craig8686904June 21st, 2016
    Recommended
    I'm really glad that a friend of mine gave me the advice to register on Flirt to make my life more spicy. I wasn't really going to have anything more than just a naughty chat but it turned out that there's a nice lady in mt city who's willing to date with me. I'm freaking happy now
    Avatar
    Chris53June 13th, 2016
    Recommended
    Though it's a casual site, I met my love here. So everything's in your hands. Try, you won't lose anything.
    Avatar
    RobertGreen84June 8th, 2016
    Above averag
    Cute looking site like many others however only here I've had 5 dates within 3 weeks after the start. Also I should note that flirt sometimes really hard to use and it's taking some time to feel yourself comfortable during usage of it and actually it's not because of gliches or something simply the pictures of buttons are obvious so sometimes you can find yourself on the page you haven't wanted to open. However I should admit that in the end it worth all the troubles in the start.
    Avatar
    JohnMApril 13th, 201
    Avoid
    This site is bull****, it's a total scam, the profiles of women are not even real they are all fake, when you create a profile and it becomes active they suck you in by sending you lots of messages and winks from so called women which are not even real and don't actually exist and because you can't read the messages as an unpaid member to be able to read the messages you have to subscribe and pay for a membership then once you do that and you respond to the messages you don't get a reply back.
    It's a con, warning to other people out there do not join this site.
    Avatar
    Michael_4302January 15th, 201
    Useless
    This site claims that singles are in your area, but in truth that they live elsewhere. I had received a lot of mail from people that the site claimed were in my area, but they actually lived far away. Beware of scammers as well, I have found quite a bit of them on this whose profiles seemed to be processed quickly since their information is available. However, those members who may actually be real usually have the contents of their profile information pending. I've seen a lot of scam activity on this site and very little actual people.

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