Print this page
Sunday, 05 November 2017 04:57

Handling Failure. Featured

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.

I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.

Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.

To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.

When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.

In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.

The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.

Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success.  It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.

There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.

Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.

When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure.  Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this?  Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.

Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.

Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.

31584 comments

  • Comment Link kyrie 7 shoes Sunday, 24 April 2022 10:52 posted by kyrie 7 shoes

    Needed to send you one tiny remark to finally thank you the moment again on your pleasant views you've featured on this page. This is quite strangely open-handed with you to give extensively exactly what most people could have sold as an electronic book to make some cash for themselves, precisely considering the fact that you could possibly have tried it if you desired. These thoughts additionally acted as the great way to be certain that someone else have the same zeal just as my personal own to know a good deal more in respect of this matter. I know there are many more pleasant occasions ahead for individuals who browse through your blog.

  • Comment Link lebron shoes Sunday, 24 April 2022 10:22 posted by lebron shoes

    I simply had to say thanks once again. I'm not certain the things I would've used without the type of thoughts provided by you relating to that area of interest. It seemed to be a hard difficulty for me personally, nevertheless seeing this well-written style you treated it forced me to cry for contentment. I will be thankful for this information and thus hope that you are aware of a powerful job that you are doing educating some other people thru your web site. I am certain you haven't come across any of us.

  • Comment Link supreme hoodie Sunday, 24 April 2022 10:19 posted by supreme hoodie

    Thanks for every one of your work on this web page. My aunt enjoys working on internet research and it's really obvious why. Most people know all of the compelling mode you make vital items on the blog and as well encourage contribution from some other people on that issue while my simple princess is in fact being taught a great deal. Have fun with the remaining portion of the year. You're conducting a stunning job.

  • Comment Link chrome hearts online Sunday, 24 April 2022 09:03 posted by chrome hearts online

    I am only commenting to make you understand of the impressive encounter our child found reading your blog. She noticed such a lot of issues, which included what it's like to possess an amazing coaching spirit to have the others completely have an understanding of various very confusing topics. You truly exceeded people's expectations. Thank you for presenting the good, dependable, informative and fun thoughts on the topic to Lizeth.

  • Comment Link bape clothing Sunday, 24 April 2022 08:25 posted by bape clothing

    I have to voice my appreciation for your kindness supporting those individuals that have the need for help with your field. Your very own commitment to passing the solution all-around ended up being rather effective and have helped associates much like me to reach their desired goals. Your helpful guide implies a great deal a person like me and a whole lot more to my mates. Many thanks; from everyone of us.

  • Comment Link NtcxUnsub Sunday, 24 April 2022 08:15 posted by NtcxUnsub

    trustworthy canadian pharmacy trusted online canadian pharmacy reviews

  • Comment Link bape clothing Sunday, 24 April 2022 07:44 posted by bape clothing

    I really wanted to compose a simple comment in order to appreciate you for the pleasant tips you are giving out here. My incredibly long internet search has at the end been paid with good know-how to talk about with my family. I would point out that most of us visitors actually are unequivocally lucky to exist in a decent site with many special professionals with great advice. I feel very much blessed to have used the website page and look forward to really more fabulous moments reading here. Thank you again for all the details.

  • Comment Link Ansnstept Sunday, 24 April 2022 03:25 posted by Ansnstept

    canadian online pharmacy ratings cvs pharmacy job application online

  • Comment Link yeezy supply Sunday, 24 April 2022 01:06 posted by yeezy supply

    I just wanted to jot down a brief comment in order to say thanks to you for those pleasant hints you are giving out on this website. My time consuming internet lookup has finally been honored with awesome concept to go over with my classmates and friends. I 'd declare that most of us site visitors actually are truly fortunate to dwell in a remarkable community with many lovely professionals with very helpful tips. I feel very much happy to have seen your entire website page and look forward to so many more amazing times reading here. Thanks once again for everything.

  • Comment Link kobe Saturday, 23 April 2022 23:30 posted by kobe

    I want to express my appreciation to you for bailing me out of such a incident. As a result of surfing around through the search engines and getting recommendations that were not productive, I assumed my entire life was gone. Being alive without the answers to the problems you've fixed by way of your main website is a critical case, as well as the kind that could have badly damaged my entire career if I hadn't encountered your web blog. Your primary talents and kindness in controlling a lot of things was excellent. I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't encountered such a step like this. It's possible to now look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the specialized and amazing help. I will not be reluctant to endorse the blog to anyone who needs to have support on this situation.